That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
