Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I could fuck to npr.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
