season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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