I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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