Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
