I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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