Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
