at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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