Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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