I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize