Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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