how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
