drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
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We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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