just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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