Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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