'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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