No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry