My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
