i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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