At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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