All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize