My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
