Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
