I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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