he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
