I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just want nice things and good sex
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
