Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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