Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
