just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
