My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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