I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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