wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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