i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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