I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
