mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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