Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
