I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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