forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize