also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dicks are not precious.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
