when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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