im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
