Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
