Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
