I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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