I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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