wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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