Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she told me i tasted like america
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
