I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list