If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need a hoe opinion