Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
no, he came in my armpit
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.