Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize