my phone cant type all the emotion im having
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?