TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.