I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does