We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
