the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
