No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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