Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
