Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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