What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yo dont text me then not text me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
