Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
