Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize