My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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