i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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