chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
